So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
