Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Randomize