her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm having to shit out rocks
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