If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
