Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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