In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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