I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
God, I missed his penis.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
