How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
