All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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