How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
