She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
