oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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