I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize