love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
