I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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