My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
