6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i will never coherently bang her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
