I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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