Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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