Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize