Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
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