maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
