My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
