I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
