just come out here and I will go home with you...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
