yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize