you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
