It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
