She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
