hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
