i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
