whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
