that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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