capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
