i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
