Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
