my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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