weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
