She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Two words: blizzard sex
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
