I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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