I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
