tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
