he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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