i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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