I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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