How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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