This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have tasted many bathrooms
Cover your peen. We're going out.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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