I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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