GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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