sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
