I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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