brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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