Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
