i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize