I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
