is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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