Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize