I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
