Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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