His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
