You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
