Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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