Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
