I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
