Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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