maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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