Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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