I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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