M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
one might say we're banned from that church
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
