DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
