remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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