You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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