He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
there is puke in my bra ... again
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