We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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