i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
