nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize