The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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